Poem

It is a great poem - in the 'This should be up on walls' category.

Hi Mike,
Thanks for the nice words about my poem! It made my day!
This is just the way I feel about the elderly...try to put myself in their shoes and look through their eyes...after all, the job we do is actually called CARE, isn't it?!
Thanks again!
Karen x

Hi Karen,

A longer 'it should be on walls' piece in this discussion forum was 'Disabilities Lifes in Other People Hands' by Bob Langford (you need to search back a bit for it - but it isn't too hard to find).

I'm involved in something of a 'debate' with the NHS at present, and one of my major issues is about perspective: being unable to 'see what the other person sees'. Trying to 'stand in the other person's shoes' is very difficult, but unless everyone tries, you end up with some very 'biased' behaviours.

Can I use your piece, with an attribution to you, in my own stuff, if I find somewhere it fits in, please ?

All the best, Mike

Hi Mike...thanks for your message!
Of course you can use it, I would be honoured if it could help carers
to 'switch on' and understand how the elderly feel about being cared
for.
Something else you could try...
Put each and every carer in a sling and hoist them up. Move them
around on it, allowing them to swing to and fro, bashing their legs on
the upright post. Ask them how it feels...
Also, sit them in a wheelchair and push them along the corridor at a
bit of a speed...
The feelings they will get from those 2 experiences will be fear and
of a total lack of control...it's not a nice feeling in either
situation, believe me. And it must be 10 times worse for a frail and
elderly person, I'm sure!
I don't think this one will go down too well...ask them to sit in a
chair and strip off, sit there naked and have a cold flannel slapped
over their body...
I really can't understand how carers can get it quite so wrong at
times. All you need to do is think about how you would feel in each
situation...it's not that hard, is it?!
My biggest bugbear is when I'm with a resident who is a double...the
other carer will just pull back the covers and try moving the resident
about. Hey, those joints have done soooooo much work in their time,
they do get a bit stiff you know! I, without fail, ALWAYS tell a
resident what I'm doing..."Annie, we're just going to check your pad
and turn you. You've been laying on this side for a little while and
we don't want you to get sore or a numb bum, do we?" Then I wait for a
response or acknowledgement (which, in an elderly resident or one with
dementia can take up to 30 seconds or more) Then proceed with what
needs to be done. I always stop the other carer from just pulling the
resident towards them in a flash, by laying my hand on the residents'
thigh! Normally always works!
I've done care work for most of my life and feel that if it can't be
done with love, compassion and feeling for the residents, then you're
in the wrong bloody job!!
Good luck in your quest for Better Perspective and thanks again for
your message!
Karen xx

Thanks Karen,

So far I only have one possible use for you poem - the Willis enquiry about training for nurses/HCAs, which I'm considering sending something to. He actually wants, it seems, evidence about 'something people did, which was shown to have improved things'.

But his first two 'themes' are:

Theme 1: Increasing patient/carer voice and service user involvement across education and training

Examples of good practice and evidence where the service user has been involved in the development of education and training.

Theme 2: Valuing the role of the care assistant

Examples of good practice and evidence on making care assistants feel valued and opening opportunities for learning and development.

The issue of 'genuinely listening' (to patients and HCAs) is a huge one in the NHS - nurses and doctors need to be prodded into 'thinking more from the other side' (in other words, this is really about a culture shift, and not about individual examples of good practice), and I might send to Willis links to some of the 'you need to think like this' pieces which are on DIC (Benny Keeble, is also a good example of the type of thinking we need to encourage).

Best wishes, Mike

Hi Mike do you have a link for submissions to wills report? I have lots I like to share ,
Rochelle

Hi Rochelle,

I didn't have enough online time to track down the link yesterday, but the details are on the page at:

http://hee.nhs.uk/2014/07/31/shape-of-caring-review-call-for-evidence/

The 'template' which downloads is in .docx format - it is a Word document, but it wouldn't open on these ancient library computers which still use Word XP (I e-mailed them, and they sent me a version in an older format).

Best wishes, Mike

PS I don't know how many of these things you have completed before - I've done a few, and sometimes they can be frustrating as you can't really make your point within the 'structure' of the thing: but I think you might be okay with this one !

stops and makes one take stock, Well Done!

Thank you mike, hope you didn't go to too much trouble,
Rochelle

Hi Rochelle,

It only took me a few minutes to track down the link - very little trouble, and I hope you make a difference to the review.

As it happens, immediately before I came and looked at this theme, I had just sent a piece of my own to the Willis review (basically, I said it doesn't need the kind of concrete examples they are asking for - it need a change of 'attitude', so that people think the same was as people like Benny Keeble and you: I sent your poem, and two of Benny's pieces, to make my point. The potential problem with 'examples of what worked', is that people might think 'That is what we needed to do to make things better - and now we've done it', instead of thinking 'how could we make things better' all of the time (as a 'background attitude/thought').

All the best, Mike

PS I've just finished sending something (a couple of questions) to all of England's Clinical Commissioning Groups, which involved looking for contact e-mail addresses on all of their webpages - that did involve a bit of 'effort' and also several hours of online time !

just about to do it now Mike , done quite a few of these in desperation to have someone listen to my concerns. Seems I get into a lot of bother at times, but do recall reading that most dignity champions are activists , it would appear I am ! thought you may like to see my latest attempt at getting people to address poor care , this is the trailer for the film which is due to be released in Jan 2015 http://vimeo.com/64995158
cheers and thank you for the continued support,
Rochelle

Rochelle,

I didn't send in the template, instead I sent in some 'free comment'.

But I got a sensible e-mail, from someone on their team, anyway,

Cheers, Mike

Hi Liz and Rochelle - I'm after a favour.

I'm tinkering with the idea, of posting a piece about some peculiarities re 'compassion' as it relates to end-of-life law. But I'm not sure, if that is a good idea or not: I would value your opinions (I'm fairly sure I'll write a piece about this topic - what I'm unsure about, is whether it makes sense to post it on DIC).

If you go to my BMJ piece at:

http://www.bmj.com/content/347/bmj.f4085/rr/654490

you will find my e-mail address at the end of the piece - if you send me an e-mail, I'll explain what it is I would be discussing in the 'compassion' piece,

Mike

Very poignant and meaningful. Will be passing this to our care services to share with the staff teams.

Great poem. If its ok, I will copy & paste the poem & place it into all my care staff pay packet next week! Give them something to read other than how much they got paid!!

A lovely poem Karen. It really touched me I am a support worker who has a passion to care,and a passion to stamp out bad practice if seen.
Best wishes
Chris

what a wonderful but thought provoking poem. May I use it at my place of work? I have just put a relative in to a care home, and it is my hope she is not feeling like this, as a dignity champion I checked every thing twice, but still worry.
Rita

Well put together and words so true to life. Thank you for sharing

Thanks for this Karen. Well done.
It is much needy piece. May it be used to bring enlightening.

Hi Marie and Linda,

If you liked the poem, I'm wondering if you have read the excellent piece posted by Bob Langford at

http://www.dignityincare.org.uk/Discuss_and_debate/Discussion_forum/?obj=viewThread&threadID=671&forumID=45

What a moving and illustrative poem. You have captivated the issues so well in rhyme too. Please write more you have great talent. Jan

The poem is wonderful and I agree it should be up on the walls of care homes. but can I tell you of the loss of my mum in law? the experience I have had as been enlightening. Mum was 93 yrs old, she had dementia and lewy bodies, she was a dearly loved lady. it all began with chest infection, she could not shake them off. Mum had decided that she was not going to hospital she wanted to die with us her family. so this was agreed by her G.P. and us. I myself was worried about the dia morphine, but was supported by her surgery, and they came daily to offer support. we did have to uses the 111 service but they were wonderful and very supportive I have to say that her GP and the 111 service was wonderful and extremely supportive of us her family. I am not saying it was easy but it was rewarding that we as her family could keep her with us to the end

That was a moving poem it convey's that power to change a bad practice person to do right.

Should be put up in the homes for carers to read. Fantastic words. Xx

Fantastic, says it all should be up on every board in every care home, or were care is delivered.

Liz,

I'm not sure if Karen is following this thread or not (it 'went quiet' for a few months in the spring).

But the response - including some recent additions - is hugely positive, so if you can still track down Karen's contact details, would you consider letting Karen know how it is going ?

Best wishes, Mike

PS I'm also wondering if Dignity In Care could find a way of 'promoting' Karen's poem ? - it does deserve a wide readership amongst care workers.

Very moving poem - should be shared with many. Well done Karen.

Hope you don't mind Karen I have shared your wonderful poem on the Dignity in Action Facebook page. It has had 36 likes in a day and many poignant comments. This certainly has stimulated debate.

Hi Jan,

Thanks for 'Hope you don't mind Karen I have shared your wonderful poem on the Dignity in Action Facebook page'.

I asked about re-using her poem near the start of this series, and Karen said she didn't object.

It deserves to 'stimulate debate'.

Sophia Taylor

Hi Karen
Such a fantastic poem about the perspective of the individual in care. Also brings reflection on how much little time HCA's have with each individual. Its important to have patience and uphold dignity while only having thirty minutes to work with and a lot of staff get very stressed and hot headed over this. Many times I've took longer than what I am allowed to professionally just to go that extra mile and give them a little bit more happiness, support and confidence in the healthcare system.

Thank you for sharing this inspirational piece of writing.