Dignity Action Day

Hi Ali - Thanks for your interest do have a look at the specific page for Dignity Action Day on this website - the map has pledges for this year and there are some ideas from last year too.. Alternatively do join us on our Dignity in Action Facebook page, people have posted ideas on there too. If you want any further discussion do email me on [log in to view email address] always happy to talk.....

hi I am new to this dignity in care website and am looking into doing an event on the dignity action day, I am also struggling for ideas but I'm not wanting to sound ignorant but if someone could advise me how having coffee mornings promote dignity, is it just coffee or do people talk about dignity as well.
hope to hear back from someone with their advice, it would be greatly appreciated. thanks

Hi Michelle welcome to the website - no its not just coffee - there are various activities going on at the same time - I am holding an afternoon tea with young people - they have been preparing their posters to bring alive the ten dignity principles the aim is to demonstrate that dignity affects everyone - young old able - not so able etc. I am also going to be joining a service for people who have learning disabilities they have invited me to afternoon tea, and upon their request. I will be discussing with them practice that is and isn't dignified. Some care services will be demonstrating to visitors what they do to uphold dignity - have you seen the dignity trees? Some people use the dignity trees with red and green leaves to demonstrate poor [red leaves] and positive communications [green leaves] - Some people are asking people who use services what they would want to see/change to ensure dignity. Do have a look on the map of pledges there are lot of examples on there. Please do come back if you need any further advice. Happy DAD.

Hi, we're having a coffee morning from 11am - 1pm along with biscuits, cakes
and sandwiches. I wrote to our in-house tenants about it and asked them to
invite family members. Then, we'll talk about what dignity means to them
and their human rights - deprivation of liberties. I'll probably point them
in the direction of the 10 point Dignity Challenge - the latter seems to
help explain it better when I'm trying to promote Dignity in Care, etc.
Hope this is of use to you.

Sounds great Mike - enjoy and thanks for being a true champion and going that extra mile. Don't forget to let us know how it goes and do post some photos. Jan

Hi
Our home and ourselves are new to the Dignity in Care Website. We only joined this week. We have planned our Dignity Action Day for the 17th of Feb between 2pm - 4pm. We have already made up our posters and are on display. As this is new to us we are first starting by having tea/coffee and light snacks, we are also inviting family relatives along to discuss with them what Dignity means to them and their loved ones. We thought of displaying the 10 point Dignity Challenge. If anyone could give us some examples we would be so grateful.
Thank you
Julie Brignull

Sounds like you're heading in the right direction. We're having ours this
Saturday between 11-1pm tea/coffee, biscuits, cakes sandwiches, etc. I've
drawn up a list of the key buzz words from the 10 point dignity challenge
and headed them on a sheet of paper with emotion-cons i.e. happy, content
and calm (for good practice). And as (for bad practice) I've headed them
with emotion-cons i.e. afraid, angry and sad. After we've discussed the
good and bad practices along with real life examples and without the use of
jargon, we'll take these and write the good and bad practices on cut out
paper leaves and create a dignity-tree (see Dignity in Care website for
other examples). Lastly, I think it's important to let everyone know at the
end of the session where they can get help and how they can complain, e.g.
local safeguarding procedures, the police, CQC, etc. All in all though,
I'll make it a positive engagement, and for it to made to be enjoyable,
rewarding and a thought provoking experience.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

Mike Evans - support worker.

From: Dignity Champions Discussion Forum [mailto:[log in to view email address]]
Sent: 28 January 2014 11:15
To: [log in to view email address]
Subject: [Dignity Champions Discussion Forum] - Re: Dignity Action Day

Message sent by Julie Brignull.

Hi
Our home and ourselves are new to the Dignity in Care Website. We only
joined this week. We have planned our Dignity Action Day for the 17th of Feb
between 2pm - 4pm. We have already made up our posters and are on display.
As this is new to us we are first starting by having tea/coffee and light
snacks, we are also inviting family relatives along to discuss with them
what Dignity means to them and their loved ones. We thought of displaying
the 10 point Dignity Challenge. If anyone could give us some examples we
would be so grateful.
Thank you
Julie Brignull

On Sun 26/01/14 9:20 PM , Dignity Champions Discussion Forum <[log in to view email address]> wrote:

> Message sent by Jan Burns.
> Hi Michelle welcome to the website - no its not just coffee - there
> are various activities going on at the same time - I am holding an
> afternoon tea with young people - they have been preparing their
> posters to bring alive the ten dignity principles the aim is to
> demonstrate that dignity affects everyone - young old able - not so
> able etc. I am also going to be joining a service for people who
> have learning disabilities they have invited me to afternoon tea, and
> upon their request. I will be discussing with them practice that is
> and isn't dignified. Some care services will be demonstrating to
> visitors what they do to uphold dignity - have you seen the dignity
> trees? Some people use the dignity trees with red and green leaves
> to demonstrate poor [red leaves] and positive communications [green
> leaves] - Some people are asking people who use services what they
> would want to see/change to ensure dignity. Do have a look on the
> map of
> pledges there are lot of examples on there. Please do come back if
> you need any further advice. Happy DAD.
>
>
>

Great example Mike - and yes I agree we do need to advise people where to go or what to do if they are not being treated with dignity - recognising that some people may need support with doing this. It is equally important to support staff who feel they need to report on practice that needs further investigation. The principle - people are able to complain without fear of retribution is important to remember - people should live and work in a cultural environment where they feel able to give feedback without it being seen as negative. That people learn and improve practice ensuring everyone can live and work with dignity at the heart of all they do. Champions stand up for dignity, thats what this campaign is about - it is a human right it is everyone's business. Thanks to all champions who are part of this campaign - together we can make a difference.

Thought I would share this - What a great day - so proud of everyone at Bethel - those who helped and those who came to our afternoon tea. We were asked do you do this every week!!!? The young people from our church were designing dignity canvass bags to order - everyone was so pleased with the end result. I must share something with you though - I was speaking to a lady who has had a stroke - her daughter asked me to tell her what dignity meant. Over a cup of tea - we talked about the acronym SPICES and I asked her what was important to her in terms of her social - physical -intellectual - cultural - emotional - spiritual needs. She shared lots with me but i was most moved by her emotional needs - she had already told me that she had five daughters and one died as she was born - when we got to discussing her emotions she returned to the loss of her baby daughter - she said she was not strong enough to breathe - she said the doctor said she would have struggled with life because of her weak heart - she said I didn't care though I would have looked after her - the more she said the more i realised that lady was still grieving for her beautiful daughter - 60 years on and it is still as painful - I didn't know the lady but I thanked her for sharing such intimacy with me - it really reinforced just how taking the time to listen allows people to express their deep down feelings. Every day should be spent taking the time for digni-tea!!!!

Hi Jan,

Your previous post raised an interesting issue.

I don't think the fact that the lady was still deeply affected by the loss of her daughter so many years on, is at all surprising.

I have my doubts that 'I've moved on' really means much, for many people: I think they 'just stop talking about it'.

You can still see WW2 veterans who break down in tears, when they talk about when they witnessed their friends being killed during the war - and for some reason, for many very old people recent events become 'lost', but their youth is remembered (or, perhaps, called to mind) more strongly.

No it is not surprising Mike and it is amazing what it stirs in the recipient of the information thats probably why it probably impacted on me so much. I lost a baby sister at three months and I know my mother always had her in her thoughts and feelings - she did move on - but only superficially, because deep down her emotions were raw from the loss of her beautiful daughter. Yes she only spoke about her occasionally and yes we can relate such as WW2 veterans a good analogy. I would maintain to listen to someone affords them respect - and every we should make time for digni-tea. Glad you found this an interesting point it certainly was meant to be so thanks for responding. How did you event go - what were your buzz words?

Hi Jan, it wasn't me that commented and it looks like there's another Mike
in the forum (Mike Stone), I'm Mike Evans.
Anyway, I agree with what you and Mike Stone have said.
My mum is in her early sixties and still gets very upset about her dad's
passing away, to me, what seems a very long time ago, but to her, it might
as well have happened today. She also gets very upset about his treatment
from other family members the years running up to his death. Even though
I've heard her get upset about it on many occasions, it's important that I
stop and listen. Sometimes, I feel she lets it consume her, but the more I
here it again and again, I here a very young teenager (from yesteryear)
still grieving with sadness, torment and unforgiving. Even though other
family members try and tell her not to get upset, I point out how important
it must be for her to break down in tears about it every now and again (a
release valve perhaps). This has to be respected and all I can do is offer
my support and sign post her to other help if she should wish to access it.
This is also how I go about my professional practice at work every day.
I've been on shift for a few hours now and I can clearly tell that one of
the tenant's appears low in mood. When asked, the tenant said there was
nothing wrong. I said I felt that by their expression things weren't right,
and I informed them if they wanted to talk they know where I am and I'm here
to listen. The tenant said things weren't OK but they know they can come
and talk to me if they should wish to do so. Nothing more was said.
I have to respect the wishes of the tenant and not push my way in too far,
as this might be perceived as harassment, etc. I'll keep on observing and
reassuring them that staff and I are here to listen and support.
By the way, our Digni-tea day on Saturday went great, so much so, we ran
overtime. Although only one tenant turned up, they'd invited their partner,
sister and the sister's husband. We spent the first hour drinking tea and
coffee along with a few biscuits and talking about human rights and how we
all have to access the care system at some point, especially when we're at
our most vulnerable. We then went through a list of emotion-cons; happy,
content, calm and listed underneath were some of the following which we
discussed in further depth: DIGNITY, RESPECT, FRIENDLINESS, PROFESSIONAL,
SUPPORT, LISTENING, HELP, INDEPEDENCE, FAMILY, GOOD SERVICE, PERSON CENTRED
SERVICE, NO JARGON, HUMAN RIGHTS, CHOICE, OPPORTUNITY, WELLBEIING, GOOD
HEALTH, CONTROL, RECOGNISING MY NEEDS AND WANTS, RIGHT TO PRIVACY,
FREE FROM ANY FORM OF ABUSE, EQUALITY, COMPLAIN WITHOUT FEAR,
FEEL GOOD ABOUT SELF, NOT TO FEEL LONLEY, NOT TO BE ISOLATED, ENGAGE WITH
FAMILY/ FRIENDS /PARTNERS /CARERS, TO BE CONFIDENT, EXPRESS MY WISHES,
SOCIAL ACTIVITIES, ETC.
We also did the same for sad, angry and afraid: LIVING IN FEAR, KEEPING
SECRETS, BEING ABUSED; FINANCIALLY/ EMOTIONALLY/ SEXUALLY/ PHYSICALLY,
ETC.'GRASSING'(TELLING) IS WRONG, PEOPLE BEING HORRIBLE TO ME IS OK,
HARRESSING (BOTHERING) ME ALL THE TIME IS FINE, CALLING NAMES, DISRESPECT,
UNFRIENDLY, UNPROFESSIONAL, TELLING ME WHAT TO DO, NO CHOICES, NO
OPPORTUNITIES, NO HUMAN RIGHTS, BEING RACIST, BEING SEXIST, BEING
HOMOPHOBIC, NOT BEING TOLERANT OF OTHERS RELIGIOUS BELIEFS, RESTIRCTING OR
STOPPING ME FROM DOING WHAT I WANT, UNHELPFUL, UNSUPPORTIVE, NOT LISTENING,
BAD SERVICE, BAD COMMUNICATION, IGNORING MY INDIVIDUAL WANTS AND NEEDS,
BEING EXCLUDED FROM ALL ACTIVITIES, ETC.
An hour later, we broke for lunch and afterwards we did our Digni-tree using
cut out papers leaves (green for good and yellow for bad, using the lists
above or their own individual thoughts and concepts). Finally, I gave them
a copy of our complaints/suggestions/compliments procedure along with the
local authority's safeguarding procedure for members of the public and those
receiving support and care services.
I went home at the end of my shift feeling elated and that I'd done
something very worthwhile and constructive.

Hi Mike thanks for your posting - my reflections certainly seem to resonate with your mother's journey and experiences. It seems like you had a very fruitful day on Saturday and although not many attenders the time you spent with those that did seems to have provided you and the people with lots of stimuli and action going forward. Thanks for sharing what you did I am sure if others read this they will pick up some helpful tips. Keep up the great work - especially giving people the gift of listening and hearing - as you say very worthwhile and constructive.

With apologies to Ali, I couldn't quite decide whether to go off-topic here, or post something as a new piece - as I think the recent posters might have some input about this, I'll (first) go off-topic here.

About this 'recalling old memories better/stronger' thing.

My mum started to 'have lapses' a couple of years before she died - notably, a few times she had forgotten that dad had died. But she only really 'had dementia' during the final few weeks or so of her life. And it didn't seem to be, how I would have guessed.

I had assumed, that a person's 'memory' with 'dementia/loss', works like mine would, if I had simply forgotten a few things. But the more 'episodes of being elsewhere' my mum had, the more it didn't seem to be like that.

Some times mum knew what was going on, and that it was 2008 - but other times, it seemed to me as if she 'was somehow in the past'. Not 'in the present but with holes in her memory' - it was as if she was 'thinking' as if it was, for example, 1990, and nothing since 1990 had happened.

So it was almost as if, when you first 'wake up', somehow your brain sweeps its memory, joins it all together, and then 'boots up' - if enough of the recent stuff 'isn't there when it boots', it simply boots into an earlier time. It was as if my mum was waking up not in 2008, but in 1990, 1953, or whatever.

This - if that is what happens - explains why dementia is so terrifying: it is as if you suddenly discover that the world you have awoken in, isn't the one your brain is telling you should be there. That would confuse and terrify anybody !!!

I'm not sure I explained that very well - but has anyone noticed anything similar ?

Hi Mike - you have explained yours and your mother's experience very well. My father had vascular dementia - but when i looked back there were lots of signs that were covered up well - some by mom and some by my dad himself. Lapses of memory - he too appeared to be in a time warp - his mom and my mom who were dead were alive in his head. He was always asking what has happened to Elsie Maud [his mom] or Pitch and Toss[Floss] my mom - I used to bring him back by asking what year was he born - he could remember that - I would say how old are you Dad? - he would say 83 - funnily enough his numeracy skills never wavered. He would say whats happening to me Jan? - yes Mike how terrifying - how confusing?

Hi Jan,

I suspect there are different types of Alzheimers. And I'm sure a lot of them are indeed terrifying.

But - and I have not really looked into this - this 'living in the past' thing, if I'm right and it is like that, would clearly be really terrifying to the sufferer: if your brain was telling you it was 1990ish, but people kept telling you that it was 2010, it would make anybody paranoid (especially as unlike me - I've always had an awful memory - most people are convinced tha tif they have forgotten something, they would 'know they had forgotten'.

These episodes of 'being elsewhere' were happening while my mum was dying at home, basically from old age, and several times (for example when I could see tha ther head was hurting her) I asked her if she wanted to go to hospital. She always indicated no (my mum's main desire seemed to be to die at home, where dad had died, and she wasn't very keen on being treated for things anyway), except for once: but, I'm certain that wasn't my 86 yr old mum answering. I think that 'I'd be treated' was some earlier version, of my mum - I'm convinced, on that one occasion I was getting from her something like 'I would like to be treated and return to being 60' or whatever. On every other occasion, it was perfectly clear that my mum, who was a month short of being 87, hadn't enjoyed the old age of 85/86, and didn't want to be alive and 87 - she just wanted to be dead instead.

This clearly still affects me - typing 'she just wanted to be dead instead', is making me cry.

So knowing that your mind is 'going' is indeed very scary - but I think this 'awaking in the past but not knowing what is going on' is probably even more scary, IF that does happen.

Hi Mike
Sometimes this type of situation evokes latent feelings - you probably need to revisit them - how lovely that your mother had a son who had such deep empathy for her. Take care

Jan, in this particular case, it isn't latent feelings, and I don't need to revisit them. Because of a fiasco when my mum died, and the subsequent behaviour of my PCT, combined with a tricky (psychologically) juxtaposition of something you need to know but don't want to think much about, with something you want to remember, I've got a rather 'Pavlovian' response to some aspects of my mum's death.

I'm also deeply annoyed, by some aspects of NHS and wider professional behaviour for end-of-life at home.

When dementia was being discussed on Nursing Times, I commented on how 'it must be confusing and terrifying to be the patient', and a senior hospital manager who does some HCA work 'to see the other side' posted a comment to the effect that 'It was exactly that - how scared and frightened patients with dementia were - that had struck her'.

Sorry Mike if it reads like i am making judgements or assumptions - obviously your feelings are not latent and you don't feel you have to revisit them. Thank you for putting the record straight - it is not my usual practice to do this - you must have struck a chord for me and I was probably projecting my own feelings.

No offence taken Jan - I'm forever being 'told off' for writing things I thought I hadn't written (which is to say, I think I've said one thing, and someone has a go at me for having written 'an entirely different meaning').

But I must admit that reading things is often a challenge, whoever you are: I don't really understand what 'revisiting feelings' means. Projecting ones own feelings is something I think most people do, and also people project their own pre-existing understanding onto things they read (what people see, differs from reader to reader, and many readers will not 'see' what the author intended to convey: this is especially true [I suspect], when people are asked to pick out 'the important bits from something').

Too true Mike.