Do you remember that dress ?
Do you remember that dress ?
The dress on the internet.
The white & gold dress on the internet.
The white & gold dress on the internet, which some people insisted was blue & black.
The dress, when if you got a group of people all looking at the same computer, and at the same image of the dress on the screen, had some people insisting it was obviously white & gold, and other people seeing a blue & black dress.
Some people see it as pale blue & gold.
People look confused and baffled - then they smile or laugh.
But they do NOT have a DECISION to make: they see the dress differently, but it is 'just a weird thing'.
End-of-Life, death and dying, is like that dress - but with one HUGE difference. Immerse a group of different people in the same situation, and they will all be seeing different things. If some of these people are 'professionals' not only their perception of what is in front of them varies, but their 'objectives' differ as well.
But during end-of-life situations, people MAKE DECISIONS. And even with the same situation in front of them, relatives, doctors, nurses, 999 paramedics, police officers, etc, 'see different things' and then make different [often very different] decisions. This is true 'retrospectively' as well (it is true for a description made after an event - for 'well, the situation was, so I decided to do ...').
And unlike with the dress, there is no 'smiling' when somebody else makes a decision you just 'cannot fathom' during end-of-life: it is 'confusion, bewilderment, anger and resentment' during EoL, not the harmless 'confusion, bewilderment and smiles'.
These decisions during end-of-life can very easily leave as an aftermath tears, bad memories, damaged lives and damaged careers.
And note: it is very hard to explain to someone 'you are completely ignoring the blue parts !' if that person CAN ONLY SEE white and gold.
Outside of EoL, 'Dignity' is also like this - it isn't one simple thing, and although probably there is more common ground than for EoL, to a significant extent 'dignity is in the eye of the beholder'.
You can find 'the dress' on the internet, for example at: